How Not To Reply an Email

Right into week 8.

Once again, a fistful of reasons for the delays. My birthday bash, Chinese New Year, tests, essays, economics summit, the list goes on. And more unfortunate is that I cant tell you all about it in this post. Or at least not yet.

‘Tis gonna be a short post this time (I’ve got 2 essays and a test coming up), so just to keep you faithful readers occupied for the time being, here’s a guide on HOW NOT TO REPLY AN EMAIL. Below are 2 emails that I’ve sent out so far regarding my group project. Mind you, I didn’t change the names in the email to protect any image or something, I really sent them out this way, although her name is obviously not Marion. And apologies to Sniff Petrol, but I just can’t get enough of the nickels thing.

First email is a reply to my friend regarding a group meeting:

Tickle my nickels, the CDA project art thou come.

Small wonder today the weather ain’t so Gary, the ducks snorting their own turd and people fumbling around fully feathered just as heavily as they are shedding it. oyster sauce and water chestnut knows no fear in this muddy day. So does the park bench and the diving birds.

Big wonder, thou, is our project. great biscuits of suggestions, thought there aint masterminds anymore in the world of Elizabeths and Roxette. Just one piece to point out: maybe we should get our squeakies together one day to skim through the work before assigning the cake to each person? A little brainstorming and Ninja Turtle would do no harm.

Aside from that, well done, Marion, and looking forward to everything the world has to offer.

Gary

Second email (so far) is to ask if she sent me the right thing, because I have little to no idea what was in my inbox:

Fundle my candle,

Great weather today, Marion. Not too cold to freeze the squiggles, and not too warm to bake the nickels. Same can’t be squirmed of the industrial trial today. The panting peacock just had to wiggle 2600 weasels when all number housewives could squeak an amoeba just under 10000 to make some biscuits. Little known, I fancy it. As effective as getting the kangaroos to stop breathing to reduce CO2 by 35%; sounds like monkey Valentine, but give it a few clockers, and then they stop breathing for good. Whoopee.

Back to today’s oysters. Just curiosity for peanuts, I wonder if you saw what you just squirrel-mailed me? Well, 12 jars of “which provided at.......” and “how much pay to s......” Good cookies, I reckon, but overdone to the pencil. Almost like calling him Alexander the Third......from left. Sigh, I’ll have to sausage up at 7 tomorrow and start the Sta-tallatta in the house of books.

Anyways, good work once again Marion, and looking forward to the next snuggle up. Thought I have no half watermelon when will it be.

Gary

Well, this is it for this time, on HOW NOT TO REPLY AN EMAIL.