As a person who has been wearing glasses for eternity, its safe to say that seeing the world through a pair of lenses gave me a clearer picture of how the world looks like. Like how magnificent the Petronas Twin Towers are when seen from far, or how majestic the Great Wall of China stand as I view it from the foot of the wall, and how weird and scary the SsangYong Stavic really is. Of course, there were also practical, reasons to put on those UV and infrared-cutting lenses, as it allows me to carry out my day-to-day activities (drive to college, copy notes from the white board, read my Word documents on-screen without blinding myself).
However, it is when I put my glasses away that I see the real world that I’ve always thought of: the grainy, blur, unclear world, full of uncertainties and certainly requiring a lot of patience and imagination to process. I have to admit that I’m quite particular when it comes to my glasses, I always want the clearest possible view though them. But, growing up(finally!), I began to question myself; What’s the point of seeing the world so clearly, when you don’t know what are you seeing? Thus, whenever I feel tensed or confused, be it with studies or life, I choose to sit down and remove the lenses, only to stare blindly at something. For instance, at home, I could be staring at the ceiling fan, its rotation blurs out as my retina can’t focus onto it well enough. But, from a different point of view, I could also see it as a fan moving very, very slowly, for my focus only catches glimpses of a stationary blade, and that’s a totally different perspective if the fan that I’ve been living with for years (if my memory didn’t fail me). The same goes with the car poster in my room. In perfect clarity, the Volvo C70 exudes all the characteristics their designers aimed to create: macho-ness, the muscular shoulders emphasizing on the waist and width of the convertible. But off goes the lenses, and all of a sudden, it’s a Volvo displaying fluidity and organic shapes, with almost a monotonous silver colour, something you’ll never find on a Volvo. The wheels seem to integrate into the vehicle, and at times, it can look better than the real car. Whenever I’m outside, my lens tend to exaggerate people passing by, the brightness of the lights, the hustle and bustle of everything, which can be stressful when your mind is as messed up as mine. But once the lenses are removed, I felt the sound, the glare and all the unnecessary stimuli removed as well, living behind a blur, quiet and lonely world. I could look at anyone, anything and suddenly everything slows down. My mind goes blank and relaxes, and as I began to focus on my breathing, I could literally feel my body loosen, the muscles not as tense as before. I stare at my work, and all I see are blur lines after more blur lines. I look out of the window, and it’s a mixture of green, blue and black light, save for the occasional speckle white light coming from what I would deem a passing car. At this point, I would close my eyes and rub my temples, which amplify the pain in my head, but it also feels rather comfortable, surprisingly. It felt like I had let go a really heavy baggage for a short while, to take a short breath, loosen my shoulders a bit before carrying it again, when I open my eyes. Reluctance (to carry the bag) is hard to fight, but the blur, spectacle-less world is always only an ideal, theoretical world. It is powered my thoughts and imagination, and is indeed unreal.
However, it is when I put my glasses away that I see the real world that I’ve always thought of: the grainy, blur, unclear world, full of uncertainties and certainly requiring a lot of patience and imagination to process. I have to admit that I’m quite particular when it comes to my glasses, I always want the clearest possible view though them. But, growing up(finally!), I began to question myself; What’s the point of seeing the world so clearly, when you don’t know what are you seeing? Thus, whenever I feel tensed or confused, be it with studies or life, I choose to sit down and remove the lenses, only to stare blindly at something. For instance, at home, I could be staring at the ceiling fan, its rotation blurs out as my retina can’t focus onto it well enough. But, from a different point of view, I could also see it as a fan moving very, very slowly, for my focus only catches glimpses of a stationary blade, and that’s a totally different perspective if the fan that I’ve been living with for years (if my memory didn’t fail me). The same goes with the car poster in my room. In perfect clarity, the Volvo C70 exudes all the characteristics their designers aimed to create: macho-ness, the muscular shoulders emphasizing on the waist and width of the convertible. But off goes the lenses, and all of a sudden, it’s a Volvo displaying fluidity and organic shapes, with almost a monotonous silver colour, something you’ll never find on a Volvo. The wheels seem to integrate into the vehicle, and at times, it can look better than the real car. Whenever I’m outside, my lens tend to exaggerate people passing by, the brightness of the lights, the hustle and bustle of everything, which can be stressful when your mind is as messed up as mine. But once the lenses are removed, I felt the sound, the glare and all the unnecessary stimuli removed as well, living behind a blur, quiet and lonely world. I could look at anyone, anything and suddenly everything slows down. My mind goes blank and relaxes, and as I began to focus on my breathing, I could literally feel my body loosen, the muscles not as tense as before. I stare at my work, and all I see are blur lines after more blur lines. I look out of the window, and it’s a mixture of green, blue and black light, save for the occasional speckle white light coming from what I would deem a passing car. At this point, I would close my eyes and rub my temples, which amplify the pain in my head, but it also feels rather comfortable, surprisingly. It felt like I had let go a really heavy baggage for a short while, to take a short breath, loosen my shoulders a bit before carrying it again, when I open my eyes. Reluctance (to carry the bag) is hard to fight, but the blur, spectacle-less world is always only an ideal, theoretical world. It is powered my thoughts and imagination, and is indeed unreal.
Whether I like it or not, the REAL world is always, relentlessly waiting for my return. So, on goes the glasses, accompanied by my work, the noise, the glare and the headache, but thinking back about the feeling of not lugging the baggage for a while merely encourages me to keep it on my back till the end, and would always be a reminder to the real world I belong to.
heyya lam!
ReplyDeletefound your blog from the ahem, aforementioned by zchuan "newscaster" *cough MICHELLE LEONG cough*
hahahahaah wth I know! XD
me again =.=
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